Do you ever feel like you’re doing things against your own better judgement?

This piece has been written for our Shine Blog by Life Coach - Stacy Murphy 

Do you ever feel like you’re doing things against your own better judgement?  Like you’re sick of making the choices you keep making? Smoking, drinking, drugs, binge eating; choices keeping you stuck where you are rather than where you’d like to be?

Do you get annoyed at yourself afterwards – why did I do that AGAIN?

It can feel like two different versions of you: one wanting change, one clinging to old habits. 

Sound familiar?

This is actually great news.  It means a part of you wants to change. 

Here are 5 ways to help this part of you get stronger – change your habits, change your life!

1.    Small hinges swing big doors.  Choose ONE thing you want to change and start there.  When you have that nailed move on to the next. 

2.   Get clear on ‘who’ you want to be. Write it down (don’t skip this part!).  Think ‘if I were that version of myself right now what choice would I make?’. Every choice is like casting a vote for who you want to be. Who are you voting for today? 

3.    Consciously choose your surroundings. Is your fridge full of beer? Do you have a full biscuit tin? Who and what is on your social media? In your news feed? There is a saying ‘energy flows where attention goes’.  Set yourself up for success by consciously choosing positive reminders of who you’re choosing to become, and remove reminders of habits you’re choosing to leave behind.

4.    Ride the wave, kill the monster. Just like a wave, cravings start small, get bigger, peak, then fade. Just like scratching an itch makes it worse, feeding a craving will guarantee it comes back stronger. In his book ‘The Only Way to Stop Smoking’, Alan Carr describes cravings like having a monster in your body.  The only way to get rid of it is to stop feeding it.  It will cry, it will get angry and it will fight for survival but feed it and it will get bigger and stronger. Instead choose to ride the wave.  Sit with a craving and really pay attention to how it feels. Is it painful? No. Uncomfortable? Probably. You can do uncomfortable, and like the wave it WILL fade. Kill the monster and you’re free forever. 

5.    Make a ‘new habits’ menu. Making a list helps you remember all the habits you want to choose instead. Sing full volume to an inspirational song, get out for a walk or run in nature, do a workout, call a friend.  Create a menu of new habits, make your choice, and just do it!

Most important of all is to be kind to yourself.

If you make a choice that you later regret don’t judge or be hard on yourself. Instead get curious about what could help you choose differently next time. Lasting change takes time, but the only way you can fail is if you stop trying.

 

 

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