Short Tales; Including the Good, the Bad and the Ugly Simon

The good, the bad and the ugly
Notes from my underground

My journey with depression has been a long one and I have come to realise that there is no overnight ‘fix’, but I am learning, more and more, that it is only me who is in control of how I continue to take on the darkness inside.

One of the things which really puts it in perspective is when you get help but then must go it alone after the specified sessions you have been allocated. You get used to having that safety net of speaking with somebody once a week, in a safe space with no judgement, but then you find yourself trying to implement what they suggest and find other ways to get out how you feel.

During, and after, the sessions ended I was on a wave of feeling good, as anyone who goes through good periods will understand. I was attacking life and throwing myself into different things. That was the good part for me, it was showing me that I was improving and pushing on forward and encouraged me to put into place the different …

The story behind the smile.

Hi, I wanted to write about my experience working with Shine Coaching.

I want to write this for other men, to come forward and speak about their issues.I am a smiley tall man who has another story to tell behind that smile.

I felt lost and scared and that what I was experiencing I was embarrassed about and that it was not normal.Being low in mood and unhappy and feeling very harsh on ourselves and put myself down and I have not been able to find courage to talk to someone about it or ask for help. I was introduced to Shine and was curious but also very nervous.As I started my journey I found that it was the best step I could have taken. We feel scared or nervous when introduced to something new or even if we have to explain our condition to others but I felt comfortable and the support I got from my coach gave me hope and that light to shine when darker days were to come. In all you learn how to become a different you by learning how to change your thoughts and views on things and to…

Childhood Years Were Tough

My childhood years were tough as I saw a lot of anger from my father as he bought us up as a strict Muslim/Pakistani family. We were the 1st generation to be born in England so there was always a lot of conflict as even listening to English music or watching English videos on the TV (top of the pops) with which my father's anger used to bubble up to the surface and sometimes my mother bore the brunt of my father's anger.
I was the one who got in trouble a lot from a young age of 13 as I had a very short attention span and had trouble concentrating I also wasn't interested in school i was more interested in hanging around with older boys and drugs and violence were introduced at a young age so anger stemmed from a young age in me and being aggressive was normal for me.  As I got older a lot of the stuff I had been through in life had broke me I felt empty and had a lot of regret and guilt for things i had done wrong in life especially the drugs and what I had put my family t…

Life Coaching allowed me to see how to move forward

When I started with Shine Coaching I felt life my life was a mess; I felt stuck and I didn’t see any way out at all.Because I was stuck it made me angry and had outbursts with friends, loved ones and strangers. I felt like the waves of life kept tossing me under and felt like I was drowning at times.
I wanted to recognise and feel the frustration and not let it turn into anger.I started to sense a shift and felt inspired to make changes.I started to see things differently even though it was the same situation.I felt aided and empowered to see a way out.I did a lot of reflection about my life and the part I played and how I sabotaged situations and how I wanted to change this.I started to see so many connections in my life that were causing problems.I was able to clarify the situation with my relationship, many people who were clinging on and causing chaos in our lives and we were getting drawn into it all, I felt able to let them go without guilt.
My clearest example of when I recognis…

Don't be hard on yourself.

I have been living with anger all my life, I think many people do without realising. However with some people, me included, it is deep rooted and hidden, and can  affect lives in profound ways if we refuse to address it and understand its origins.

I have only recently discovered how being angry can impact how I feel, and how that can affect how things turn out, positively or negatively.

I never used to get angry, very rarely. In fact I used to quietly envy people that seemed to be able to vent their emotions and saw it as a part of being confident. I think I was confusing passion with anger to some extent. It is possible to have a passion without being angry. When we realise the benefits of our passions and interests then we often defend them strongly if need be. I think that is when a wider interest comes into play, and we are aware that what we do and enjoy has a positive effect on wellbeing, ours and the people around us.

When I was hospitalised in 2002 with psychosis. I was a lost…
As I sit here thinking about what to share, I am listening to a song called Revive, by one of my favourite bands The Anchor. Each of the songs they put out is so powerful and this new single is no different and the words literally are ringing through my ears:
“I can’t keep doing this to myself,
I’m running in circles again.
I am my own worst enemy,
I have to start believing in myself”.

This verse really speaks to me, in-particularly the last line: “I have to start believing in myself”, mainly because It seems like such an easy thing to think, but a mountain of a challenge to do.
Now, this might sound completely random as you haven’t a clue who I am. My name is Simon, from Blackburn, I’m 31 and I’m trying to follow my dream of being a Mystery Performer. If you saw me walking down the street, you wouldn’t think I suffered from depression. At the time of writing this, I have a bright purple Mohawk and tattoos covering my hands. I stand out from a mile away, but like the s…

Taking Note of Mindfulness...what can you do about it?

Taking Notice With Mindfulness...
Many times you may have heard yourself or someone close to you stating ‘Hey I have anger issues’ and maybe that’s that.But what exactly can be done with anger?I am sure anger has it’s place and feeling angry about situations is of course acceptable.But what about the instances that causes anger to bubble over into a reaction.A reaction that causes upset, further arguments, stress and even physical symptoms within the body. How exactly is this managed or even more so taken care of?

Anger over time if not addressed can become a habit, a habit of mind that grows over years of learned behaviours from childhood to acting out on in adulthood.And yet there does come a time when you realise that anger is simply not serving you.Your anger is taking the lead in your life.Causing upset for you, and those around you.

Life becomes your anger.

What is it that actually fuels your anger?And what can you do about it?
Mindfulness may be just the tonic.Mindfulness is quite t…